The Organizer

Dear Devorah,

I love Shabbos, but getting ready for it is exhausting. Do you have any tips to make it easier – and maybe even a little calmer?

-Frazzled Fridays  

Dear Frazzled, 

Shabbos comes every single week. You’d think, by now, we’d have it down to a science – but somehow, every Thursday night, it still feels like a race against the clock. There’s the cooking, the cleaning, the table setting… and by the time the candles are lit, you’re not basking in peace – you’re just recovering from the marathon of getting there.

But here’s the good news: Shabbos prep doesn’t have to feel like chaos on repeat. The beauty of something that happens weekly is that you can systemize it. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel every Thursday. Here are some of my favorite practical, realistic ways to make Erev Shabbos smoother – so you can actually enjoy Shabbos instead of just collapsing into it.

1. Make a standard Shabbos List 

The best thing I ever did for myself was make one standard Shabbos list. Every week, it’s the same routine: set the table, fill the urn, set up the hot plate, set the timers, turn on the kosher lamps, turn off the alarms…

It sounds basic, but if you’ve ever had to send your husband or kids sprinting up the stairs after candle lighting because you forgot to set the dining room timer, you know exactly why it’s worth writing down. A good list saves those last-minute panics and keeps things calm before Shabbos even begins. 

You can make a list on your phone’s Notes app or print out a bunch of copies if you like the satisfaction of checking things off with a pen. Either way, having it written down takes away the mental clutter. You know what’s done, what’s left, and that alone makes Erev Shabbos feel calmer.

2. Simplify the Grocery Situation

Calling in or ordering your groceries online is one of the best Shabbos prep hacks out there. It’s not perfect – you won’t always get the prettiest produce or the exact challah you wanted – but it saves an incredible amount of time, money, and sanity. You skip the impulse buys your kids beg for in the candy aisle, and you don’t have to haul thirty bags from the car to the kitchen while doing that awkward one-trip shuffle – because let’s be real, no one is going back for a second trip.

I love grocery apps because they make planning easier. You can schedule your order early in the week and still edit it as the days go on, even after it’s placed. Every Tuesday morning, I set up my Shabbos order and grab the delivery or pickup slot that works best for me. Then, as the week unfolds, I can keep adding to it. So if we finish the milk, my kids turn all the grape juice into ices on Friday morning, or six unexpected guests appear out of nowhere, I can quickly update my order and move on with my day. It’s one less thing to stress about – and that alone makes Erev Shabbos smoother.

If grocery delivery isn’t your thing, you can still make life easier. Keep a running list on your fridge and add to it throughout the week. Just make sure to actually take it with you when you go shopping – or you’ll come home with everything except what you needed for Shabbos.

3. Bake or Cook in Bulk

Some people love everything fresh for Shabbos. Others are perfectly happy to pull a kugel out of the freezer and call it a win. Both approaches work. But if cooking feels overwhelming week after week, try bulk-batching.

Here’s how it works: each week, make just one thing in bulk. The first week, soup. The next, kugel. The week after that, apple crisp. You’ll only have to cook one item per week, but you’ll slowly build a freezer stock of homemade favorites. Before long, you’ll be pulling out ready-made dishes instead of starting from scratch every Thursday.

The trick is freezing smart. Label everything clearly (item and date), use good freezer bags or containers, and don’t let things linger longer than a month or two. When you have those backups ready, even a surprise guest or a rough week doesn’t throw you off balance.

4. Save the Mess for Another Day 

If you prefer fresh meals for Shabbos, you can still prep smart. The secret is separating the messy work from the actual cooking.

On Thursday, get everything oven-ready. Marinate the chicken, chop the vegetables, season the sides – basically, take care of all the steps that leave your counters sticky and your sink full. Assemble everything right into the pans you’ll be baking in, cover them, stick them straight in the fridge. When Friday rolls around and your house is already clean, all you have to do is pop the pans into the oven. No chaos, no splatters, no starting from scratch. Just bake, serve, and breathe.

Because let’s be honest –  the last thing you need on Friday afternoon is another mess (or another reason to sweep).

5. Get the Kids Involved

Getting kids involved can be the difference between doing everything yourself and actually feeling like you’ve got a team. Sure, the first few times more flour will hit the counter than the bowl, but over time, it really does get easier – and it builds great habits along the way.

The trick is to make it feel fun, not like a chore. Instead of saying, “Skip the “This is your Shabbos job” approach and try something lighter, like “Want to help make Shabbos happen?” or “Can you be in charge of something this week?” Give them small, doable choices – setting napkins, mixing brownies, arranging the candles. The goal is to help them feel part of the process, not pressured by it.

Even little kids can join in. You’d be surprised how nicely a motivated six-year-old can set the table – or how proud a three-year-old looks carrying napkins or placing bentchers. It gives them a sense of pride and responsibility, and it turns Shabbos prep into a family effort instead of a one-woman show.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about getting ready for Shabbos – it’s about raising kids who know how to help, how to contribute, and how to make a home feel calm and cared for.

Final Thoughts

Getting ready for Shabbos doesn’t have to feel like chaos on repeat. Once you’ve got your systems in place – a standing list, a grocery routine, some freezer backups, and a family that helps – it all starts to flow. You’re not scrambling anymore, you’re managing. And that small shift changes everything.

Shabbos isn’t meant to feel like a finish line you barely crawl across – it’s meant to be the deep exhale after a long week, the pause that fills your home with light, calm, and gratitude.

So light those candles, take that deep breath, and remember: even a little organization goes a long way toward making Shabbos feel like the gift it’s meant to be.

And if this week didn’t go quite as planned, don’t worry – you’ll get another shot when Shabbos rolls around next week.

You got this!

Happy Organizing,

Devorah